I've never liked the word "normal" but we all have our own picture of what this term means to us. We all have our concept of a "normal life". For the handler of a service dog, life is far from "normal". I guess most handlers have come to terms with that prior to owning a service dog but with the addition of their new partner comes a whole new definition of "normal life". From this point forward you are no longer responsible for only yourself, you have another life totally dependent on you. To some this is a welcome blessing and to others it is a stark realization that is not met until later in their partnership. While in most cases your new canine partner opens up your world and makes it more accessible, they may also present new challenges.
This month we have come face to face with some of these challenges. While living in a hotel room for a month now during this transition with our two youngest human boys and our two furry boys we have shared very close quarters and 100% of our lives with our canine family. We have never left them unattended in the room as we could leave them in the yard at home. This often requires a little extra planning. They have been with one of us 24/7 at work, to the library, store, and just like the human kids... they can't leave the bathroom door closed! And we can't just open their bathroom door and let them outside. At times it is inconvenient but the rewards are worth the efforts. And thanks to our adult daughter Sami that is keeping Amanda and her dog Alli, Amanda is learning many of these same lessons. She has had to realize the full commitment she made in owning her dog and accepting responsibility for her.
While we are welcomed to most business, we sometimes meet a different challenge on a personal level. Not all of our friends and family are as excited about our dreams and goals for our dogs as we are. While public access is a matter of ADA law, things can be more complicated on a personal level. Friends that have not experienced our furry family are sometimes unsure of how to handle their presence. Of course we always ask permission before taking our dogs to someone's home and are careful to respect their personal spaces. There are places that we know our dogs are not welcome regardless of their manners and training. They still face stereo types and ignorant assumptions. Some people allow us to bring our dogs but expect them to be put in a pen or crate or be left outside or in the car while we are visiting. This causes extreme stress on the dog and completely disregards their place as a "service dog"! This is hardest for those that knew the handler prior to being pared with their canine partner. It also seems that those in the closer relationships also prevent the biggest obstacles.
I'm actually very thankful for this time of learning we have had. This will be something we are now sensitive to and can prepare our future handlers to face in their own lives. "Normally" 24/7 service is an option in our lives and all of us can still function at some level without our canine partners. It does however make us aware of the challenges our teams will face. It is a shame that those that truly need their partners to access their worlds will find their biggest access challenges with those that should love and accept them the most. With our dogs it seems even more difficult because we are targeting individuals who have unseen injuries such as TBI and PTSD as well as other mental disabilities.
I wonder if a family member would dare to tell someone not to bring their wheel chair onto their new carpet because of course it had been outside and they may track in dirt?... yet to the soldier with severe PTSD his dog may very well be the only reason he felt able to attend the family function after so many excuses to avoid the social interaction. Like wheels to the amputee his dog helps him to overcome the obstacles which face him. (More on that in another post!)
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